Red Recondite

Ingredients

• 1 Kraft Macaroni & Cheese box
• 1 Strawberry Kool-Aid packet
• 4 tablespoons Imperial butter
• 1/3 cup 2% milk

Preparation

Adding the strawberry kool-aid at the same time as the dry cheese mix felt like a horrible, horrible idea.  So, in order to give this a chance at being edible, I decided to pour the kool-aid in just as the water started to boil.

With every second, I feared that a police officer would bust down my door and assume I had a nice pot of boiling blood going.

With temporary insanity as my copilot, we started takeoff procedures.

Yep, the kool-aid seemed to stain the macaroni just fine.

This was when I started to get that ‘what the hell am I doing’ feeling in my kidneys.  The fully stained and cooked macaroni certainly looked… interesting.

With a strange, robotic resolve, my arms poured the strawberry macaroni in with the milk and butter.

I had a brief hope that the red macaroni would be completely covered by neon-orange cheese.

A brief hope.

Verdict

Weird, very weird.

The cheesy goodness is there, but it cannot fully mask the strange bitterness underneath.

If you ever had one of those “oh fuck, where’s the milk?” moments after you’ve boiled your macaroni, and you end up skipping the milk entirely, it tastes similar to that.  It’s not nearly that bad, though.

Oddly, I didn’t taste a hint of strawberry until a few minutes after my last bite.  This strawberry hint taunted my tongue for the rest of the day.

I actually thought I had ate it in entirety, but long after the sun fell from the sky I noticed half of the batch remained.  This remaining portion sits in my refrigerator.  Waiting.

From Left-to-Right: Mountain Dew (2 Liter), Black Cherry Mountain Dew (2 Liter), Black Cherry Mountain Dew (Glass), Black Cherry Kool-Aid

Ingredients

• 1 Mountain Dew 2-Liter
• 1 Kool-Aid packet (Black Cherry)

Preperation

I shoved a funnel down the just-opened Mountain Dew bottle’s throat, and gently sprinkled some Black Cherry Kool-Aid.  It was interesting; the Kool-Aid particles appeared to float on top of the Mountain Dew, but some particles would occasionally shoot downwards, and gently rise again.  Seeing that it did not appear to fizz out of control, I poured in the remaining Kool-Aid dust.

It then proceeded to fizz out of control, sort of.  It bubbled up something fierce, and overflowed the bottle, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as opening a freshly-shaken bottle.

It did result in some awesome stains on my hands: we’re talking movie-calibur bloody-cut special effects work.  I fear to contemplate what would have happened if I chose to do this over a carpeted area.

Also, because of all of the fizzing, the Kool-Aid essentially mixed itself into the Mountain Dew.  No stirring required.

Verdict

I remember when I was a young lad, and I started making Kool-Aid on my own.  Surely, I thought, two packets of Kool-Aid would make it taste twice as good?  If you haven’t tried that… you should.  I’ll wait.  Come back when you’re done.

Twiddle dee, twiddle dum.  Dee doo gum.

Oh, you’re back?  Yeah, it doesn’t work like that at all; it ends up as a bitter, nasty concoction.  I was afraid that Black Cherry Mountain Dew would be the similar, with too much ‘flavor’.

But, thankfully, the ultra-sugary Mountain Dew works really well with Kool-Aid.  The black cherry flavor overwhelms the Mountain Dew a little bit, but it is very drinkable and tasty.  Its about on par with the Mountain Dew flavors (e.g. Supernova, High Voltage) released last summer.

Whilst placing everything I owned into boxes, I noticed that I had a couple dozen Kool-Aid packets sitting in a cupboard.  The last time I made Kool-Aid, I left an unfinished pitcher in my refrigerator for the better part of a year.

Life-Lesson: Kool-Aid can, in fact, get moldy.

I need to dispose of these Kool-Aid packets, but throwing them away just seems like a waste.  So, I’m going to use these remaining packets in unusual ways, such as mixed in food or a non-water liquid.

For example, what happens if you mix Strawberry Kool-Aid with macaroni and cheese?  Something horrible, I’m sure, so I doubt I’ll try that.  But that’s the angle I’m going towards.

Expect to see some of these ratings graphics in the near future:

Good:

Average/Weird:

Bad: