Kool-Aid Disposal: Strawberry Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

January 14th, 2009

Ingredients

  • 1 Kraft Macaroni & Cheese box
  • 1 Strawberry Kool-Aid packet
  • 4 tablespoons Imperial butter
  • 1/3 cup 2% milk

Preparation

Adding the strawberry kool-aid at the same time as the dry cheese mix felt like a horrible, horrible idea.  So, in order to give this a chance at being edible, I decided to pour the kool-aid in just as the water started to boil.

With every second, I feared that a police officer would bust down my door and assume I had a nice pot of boiling blood going.

With temporary insanity as my copilot, we started takeoff procedures.

Yep, the kool-aid seemed to stain the macaroni just fine.

This was when I started to get that ‘what the hell am I doing’ feeling in my kidneys.  The fully stained and cooked macaroni certainly looked… interesting.

With a strange, robotic resolve, my arms poured the strawberry macaroni in with the milk and butter.

I had a brief hope that the red macaroni would be completely covered by neon-orange cheese.

A brief hope.

Verdict

Weird, very weird.

The cheesy goodness is there, but it cannot fully mask the strange bitterness underneath.

If you ever had one of those “oh fuck, where’s the milk?” moments after you’ve boiled your macaroni, and you end up skipping the milk entirely, it tastes similar to that.  It’s not nearly that bad, though.

Oddly, I didn’t taste a hint of strawberry until a few minutes after my last bite.  This strawberry hint taunted my tongue for the rest of the day.

I actually thought I had ate it in entirety, but long after the sun fell from the sky I noticed half of the batch remained.  This remaining portion sits in my refrigerator.  Waiting.

Kool-Aid Disposal: Black Cherry Mountain Dew

January 5th, 2009

From Left-to-Right: Mountain Dew (2 Liter), Black Cherry Mountain Dew (2 Liter), Black Cherry Mountain Dew (Glass), Black Cherry Kool-Aid

Ingredients

  • 1 Mountain Dew 2-Liter
  • 1 Kool-Aid packet (Black Cherry)

Preperation

I shoved a funnel down the just-opened Mountain Dew bottle’s throat, and gently sprinkled some Black Cherry Kool-Aid.  It was interesting; the Kool-Aid particles appeared to float on top of the Mountain Dew, but some particles would occasionally shoot downwards, and gently rise again.  Seeing that it did not appear to fizz out of control, I poured in the remaining Kool-Aid dust.

It then proceeded to fizz out of control, sort of.  It bubbled up something fierce, and overflowed the bottle, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as opening a freshly-shaken bottle.

It did result in some awesome stains on my hands: we’re talking movie-calibur bloody-cut special effects work.  I fear to contemplate what would have happened if I chose to do this over a carpeted area.

Also, because of all of the fizzing, the Kool-Aid essentially mixed itself into the Mountain Dew.  No stirring required.

Verdict

I remember when I was a young lad, and I started making Kool-Aid on my own.  Surely, I thought, two packets of Kool-Aid would make it taste twice as good?  If you haven’t tried that… you should.  I’ll wait.  Come back when you’re done.

Twiddle dee, twiddle dum.  Dee doo gum.

Oh, you’re back?  Yeah, it doesn’t work like that at all; it ends up as a bitter, nasty concoction.  I was afraid that Black Cherry Mountain Dew would be the similar, with too much ‘flavor’.

But, thankfully, the ultra-sugary Mountain Dew works really well with Kool-Aid.  The black cherry flavor overwhelms the Mountain Dew a little bit, but it is very drinkable and tasty.  Its about on par with the Mountain Dew flavors (e.g. Supernova, High Voltage) released last summer.

Kool-Aid Disposal: Introduction

January 1st, 2009

Whilst placing everything I owned into boxes, I noticed that I had a couple dozen Kool-Aid packets sitting in a cupboard.  The last time I made Kool-Aid, I left an unfinished pitcher in my refrigerator for the better part of a year.

Life-Lesson: Kool-Aid can, in fact, get moldy.

I need to dispose of these Kool-Aid packets, but throwing them away just seems like a waste.  So, I’m going to use these remaining packets in unusual ways, such as mixed in food or a non-water liquid.

For example, what happens if you mix Strawberry Kool-Aid with macaroni and cheese?  Something horrible, I’m sure, so I doubt I’ll try that.  But that’s the angle I’m going towards.

Expect to see some of these ratings graphics in the near future:

Good:

Average/Weird:

Bad:

Srsly?

December 31st, 2008

wht th fck

Max Payne Blog Spam: Investigative Report

October 20th, 2008

Interesting.

A ‘movie fan’ posted a comment to my Awesome Max Payne Review.  I was suspicious, because, let’s be honest here, this blog isn’t exactly high-caliber reading material, despite the eloquence of that particular review.

I searched for his comment in good ol’ google, and it looks like the same text, “i suspect the storyline for Max Payne is a lot more exciting when it’s happening in the form of a video game…“, has been posted everywhere else, with minor variations.

Looking at movie fan’s link, Kingdom of God Media, and the typical motivation for blog spam simply isn’t there: there is no money to be made.

  1. There are no ads.
  2. He has a donate link, but I have difficulty imagining that gets much action.
  3. He does link to an Amazon.com page selling a book he wrote, but that’s only on his other blog, Books By Patrick.

And, true to its tag line, “The Mysteries of God’s Kingdom Revealed Through Movies, Music and Television”, it does interpret movies, music, and television with a religious frame, but not a ‘convert the heathens’ frame.

So, why?  Why, Mr. Patrick Roberts, why do you post the same comment everywhere?  It is not a bad comment, sure, but what do you have to gain from it?

By process of elimination, or perhaps by process of lack of imagination, I’m only left with ’self promotion’.  At the very bottom of his blog, there are several links to ‘blogtoplist’, ‘blogtoparea’, and other such blog-ranking web sites.  By posting the same comment to multiple web sites, he is probably google-bombing his blog to a higher ranking.

And, because of the very minor variations in the comment, and the fact that my anti-spam filter did not flag it, I am under the assumption that he went to each site and posted the comments himself, without the aid of a spam bot.

So, I wondered how he found my eloquent review.  While my review is perhaps the lowest ranked item in a standard Google Search, it is in the first few dozen hits for Google Blog Search.

Review: Max Payne (Movie)

October 19th, 2008

Do not see Max Payne.

Albino Spider Pervert

October 4th, 2008

Recondite

June 16th, 2008

WunderMap

June 5th, 2008

Up-to-date weather information + Google Maps = Best Thing Ever.

Wii Wheel Rock You

April 27th, 2008

And here I thought I was clever.  Alas.

The Wii Wheel is surprisingly well crafted.  I expected it to be a worthless hunk of plastic, because:

  1. My Gamecube steering wheel makes Mario Kart Double Dash unplayable.
  2. Excite Truck’s wii-mote steering is not very accurate.
  3. The Wii Zapper, a similar peripheral, is annoying at best.

And yet, somehow, the Wii Wheel works well.  The only problem I have with it is hopping into a turn while skidding in the wrong direction, but I experienced the same difficulties in Mario Kart DS, where only the D-Pad is to blame.